Elizabeth the First Wife Page 25

  I smiled at the thought of someone using FX instead of vice versa, then remembered my new European extra-quiet, low-flow dishwasher and didn’t feel so superior. Sabrina and I do have something in common.

  I excused myself to collect my nerves in a dark corner, like I’d seen FX do last summer. I don’t know how these actors do it, I thought. Maybe Drunk Puck was onto something.

  My phone pinged: In the cab.

  And then: Don’t worry. Just be yourself.

  I was wrong. My appearance following Sir Patrick Stewart wasn’t just a letdown, it was a complete plonking meltdown. FX’s effusive introduction included the fiction, “Elizabeth and I were married for a short time, and I think once you hear her speak about her work, you’ll understand why it didn’t last. She’s way too good for me.” The audience ate it up, like we were the alt Demi and Bruce, and I made my entrance on the applause.

  I took a deep breath, squared my shoulders, looked out at the audience and was immediately blinded by the stage lights. Every word of my carefully crafted two-minute speech that I’d worked on for weeks flew from my head, and I was pretty sure my paralysis lasted longer than the cocktail hour. Slowly, as I adjusted to being onstage and my eyes adapted to the wattage, I began to make out the faces of my family, the Lizzies, that guy from the BBC version of Sherlock Holmes. FX looked on encouragingly but with concern in his eyes, as if he were going to jump in at any second if the silence went on for any longer.

  A flash of white entering the back of the theater caught my eye. My racing heartbeat slowed a bit. Fighting the glare, I could make out a figure coming down the aisle and taking a seat in the back. He made it. It was Rafa, in his white shirt, not the slightest bit festive but one hundred percent solid. He smiled, encouraging me with his expression.

  Just be yourself.

  Be great in act as you have been in thought. “My name is Elizabeth Lancaster, or as FX thinks of me, Elizabeth the First…Wife.” The whole audience laughed, but I kept eye contact with Rafa. “I teach Shakespeare, and I can’t think of a better job. …”

  EPILOGUE

  “No one was surprised?”

  “Nope.”

  “Really?”

  “Not a bit.”

  “How long have you all known?” The after-party had moved to my house, and Bumble, Sarah, and I were sitting at the new breakfast bar in the kitchen, staring out the new picture window at the garden, having one last glass of our beverage of choice—either champagne or Martinelli’s—and snacking on a charcuterie platter we’d snagged from the event. The crowd had thinned to the three of us, along with Ted, Steven, and Rafa, who were camped out on the couch in the living room. And, of course, Puck, who was lounging by the fire.

  “Since the Fourth of July. I had my suspicions before that, but Sarah confirmed that you left that party at FX’s place together.”

  My mouth dropped open. I was sure no one had seen us leave. “I’m a mother. Eyes in the back of my head,” Sarah said by way of explanation.

  All our effort to keep the relationship secret had been wasted. The faux work conferences I’d cooked up when Rafa was in town. The “trip to New York to meet my agent,” which was really a getaway to DC. I’d even come down with “the flu” over Thanksgiving so Rafa and I could spend a long weekend in Santa Fe. All for naught.

  Well, not really for naught, because it had been a lot of fun.

  But now I understood the reaction when Rafa had kissed me in full view of my family, FX, Taz, and half of Pasadena after my speech. We had thought that appearing together for the first time as a couple at such a public event would cause at least a little stir. Instead, the moment invoked amusement, not surprise, and only FX let out a few courtesy catcalls. Everyone else acted like it was an everyday event that I had an attractive man at my side. My mother, not a fan of PDA, simply said, “Oh, Elizabeth, dear!”

  I still didn’t believe them. “Maddie knew?”

  “She told us you’d been Skyping him all summer. ‘Worse than Dylan and me,’ she said.”

  “Now I’m embarrassed. I thought she hadn’t noticed. What about Dad?”

  “Please, Rafa showing up at the crack of dawn to watch Wimbledon? Even Dad’s not that clueless.”

  “Why didn’t anyone say anything? I can’t believe Mom didn’t make a comment. One of her patented hanging teases, like ‘Elizabeth, I think you have something to share with us?’ I cannot believe she kept quiet.”

  “Oh, she said something, just not to you!” Bumble laughed. “About every three days, I’d get a call. ‘Is it still on? Or is he after some lobbyist now?’ You can thank Sarah for the privacy. She read us all the riot act if we interfered. She said we owed you six months to yourself after this summer. She practically made us sign a contract. Although faking the flu over Thanksgiving was really quite desperate. That really made us laugh. We mocked you the entire meal.”

  “Well, I was desperate!” I turned to Sarah, ever-steady Sarah. “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome.” She pushed her glass away. “We were shocked you could keep it quiet that long. Very impressive. That’s when we knew it was serious. That and the lilacs.”

  She nodded out the new window toward the back of the garden, where Rafa and I had spent a glorious weekend in October planting a staggered row of lilac bushes along the back wall. “These are called Blue Skies. They’ll thrive here,” he’d said, wiping his dirty hands on his jeans after finishing the job. “I’ll make sure of it.” I flushed at the memory.

  On cue, Rafa strolled over with more champagne. “Anybody need a refill?”

  Sarah stood up. “No, we’re leaving, aren’t we, Bumble?”

  Bumble rumbled out of the chair, pregnant-woman style. “I’m exhausted. We’ll need our sleep if Ted’s going to get elected and Rafa’s going to move to Sacramento!” She winked, and I had no doubt there would be a million more such comments coming Rafa’s way. She was right, though; Ted had better win.

  Rafa stood behind me, his hands rubbing my shoulders as we watched the foursome let themselves out, the house suddenly quiet. Now it was just the two of us, three if you counted Puck, looking out at the garden and beyond to the lilacs. Rafa leaned down and whispered, “I do love nothing in the world so well as you. Is that not strange?”

  “Much Ado. How long did it take you to memorize that?”

  “Pretty much the whole plane flight.” Rafa reached for my hand, his lips against my neck.

  “Well, it is perfect.” The rose-colored votive glowed, the shadows playing against the imperfect walls. I love you with so much of my heart that none is left to protest. “And good news: That’s the only quote you’ll ever need to memorize.”

  Q & A WITH AUTHOR LIAN DOLAN

  In Helen of Pasadena, your protagonist was a woman roughly your age, with a teenage son about the age of one of your sons. She even majored in the same thing in college that you did. But Elizabeth Lancaster is younger, single, childless, and a Shakespeare professor. Was it more of a challenge to write her?

  Actually, it was a lot more fun to write Elizabeth than Helen. With Helen, there were so many obvious parallels to my life that I really had to work to make it clear she wasn’t me. (I thought I’d done a fine job, but I can’t tell you how many people have called me “Helen” since the book has come out. Or introduced me by saying, “This is Helen of Pasadena!” Um, no.)

  Elizabeth’s the cool, slightly cynical single gal that I’d like to think I would have been had I not gotten married and if I had a PhD. I had a fantastic Shakespeare professor in college who brought the material to life with her passion and sometimes brought us to tears with her lectures. Elizabeth is an homage to her, but she comes with more emotional baggage and a funkier wardrobe than my former professor.

  One similarity you have to Elizabeth is being the youngest of the family—in her case, a highly accomplished family, and in your case, a very large family, also with its share of accomplishments. How has being a youngest shaped you as a write
r?

  When you’re the youngest in a big family—or probably any family—you end up observing more than contributing for years of your life. No one wants to talk to the youngest or hear what you have to say at the dinner table. So I spent a lot of years listening, laughing, and making copious mental notes about people, behavior, and conversations—all very helpful for a writer. Also, you have plenty of “lives” to borrow material from. Was that funny story about the bad date mine? Or my big sister’s? Ultimately, it doesn’t really matter who went on the bad date, I can still use it in my writing.

  Shakespeare looms large in Elizabeth the First Wife. Have you always been interested in the Bard?

  I grew up in Connecticut near a town called Stratford, which is home to an “official” Shakespearean theater, so from elementary school through high school, seeing a play was an annual field trip. And I can still remember the discussion about The Taming of the Shrew in my eighth-grade English class with my groovy, feminist teacher. I think that early exposure gave me an interest and a comfort level with the material. Let’s face it, the first few Shakespeare plays you see, you barely have a clue what’s happening. But the more you read and watch, the more you understand.

  In high school, I also loved going into New York City in the summer to see Shakespeare in the Park with friends, because that was a whole happening, from waiting in line for the tickets to seeing great actors in an outdoor setting with a raucous audience. By college, I eagerly signed up for a full-year class, reading a dozen plays and even playing Hamlet in our in-class production.

  But my lifelong fascination with the Bard was really cemented during my junior year abroad in Athens. I had the opportunity to see an amazing Royal Shakespeare Company/Peter Hall production of Coriolanus with Ian McKellen in the title role. The production was staged in the ancient amphitheater on the Acropolis. There was no need for a set, because it was the ancient amphitheater on the Acropolis! Just the words, the acting, and the lighting—and with Shakespeare, you don’t need any more. It was mind-blowing, to steal a phrase from the book. Just one of those experiences that connected me to thousands of years of theater, words, and the whole human experience in a single night. Made me a lifelong believer in the power of the Bard.

  How challenging was it to write about Shakespeare, the most influential literary figure of all time?

  Very. The more I researched for the book, the more I realized I didn’t know jack about Shakespeare. At first, I thought I’d weave some Shakespearean mystery into the plot, something to do with the writing of Midsummer and the noble family for whom it was written. But after dipping into my research, it became very clear that there were lots and lots of serious Shakespeare scholars and ten times more enthusiasts who would bust me if I didn’t get the research exactly right. That reality was sobering! That’s why I decided that Elizabeth’s research for her book would have a pop-culture slant and be more accessible and fun than arcane. That was a critical decision in the creation of Elizabeth’s character and the plot. As a writer, I felt inspired when I decided to go in that direction.

  Which brings up Elizabeth’s book-within-a-book, All’s Fair. What inspired that?

  Once I decided to ditch a super-serious scholarly focus on the Shakespearean material, I worked on creating pseudo-scholarly material that any reader could enjoy. The idea hit me in the shower—where I do my best thinking—and I immediately got out and searched for contemporary relationship books based on Shakespeare. There weren’t any! I was shocked, but thrilled. It seemed like a really contemporary way to use the material, and I like writing about contemporary women and their lives.

  Plus, let’s face it, even for educated readers, for many of us our last exposure to a Shakespeare play was in high school or college. Details get fuzzy. And who’s kidding who? Life is busy, and nobody sits down to read The Tempest after they put the kids to bed. But I thought, readers might have read or seen The Tempest at some point and would like a little refresher class. I hope All’s Fair, the book-within-a-book, helps readers feel a little more on top of their Shakespeare again. Like they’re back in the literary game, able to drop references and quote quotes without having to work too hard!

  Is there a Shakespearean heroine you most identify with?

  Before I wrote the book, I probably would have said Beatrice from Much Ado About Nothing, just because she is fabulous and easy to like. The Elizabeth Bennet of the canon. But doing the research on all the Righteous Role Models made me appreciate so many more of the female characters for various reasons. Juliet was one tough teenager. Cleopatra worked it. Portia made a feminist statement in an age when those didn’t come easily. There’s a lot to admire in almost all of the women of Shakespeare, especially when viewed through the perspective of time.

  In this era of extremely heated political debate, you’ve created a world in which Democrats and Republicans not only get along, but also love each other. Is this literary wishful thinking or actually possible?

  When I conceived of the book, we had a Republican governor of California who was a fiscal conservative, a social liberal, and a bodybuilding movie star married to a Kennedy clan member! Clearly, here in California, anything IS possible.

  Elizabeth Lancaster sticks to her career guns and doesn’t do what her mother wants her to do. Is this an essential message for you?

  One of the themes I wanted to explore in Elizabeth the First Wife was the idea of breaking free of your family’s expectations and being your own person. (That’s definitely the baby of the family in me!) But I’ve observed in my own life and the lives of others that being your own person is not that easy, even as you slide into midlife. And ironically, it can be even harder to carve out an adult identity if you have a close family where you can get stuck, never really evolving from the role you played when you were twelve.

  In Elizabeth Lancaster, I wanted to explore a woman sticking up to not only her mother, but really her whole family, who have plenty of ideas of how she should be living, what she should be doing, and how she should be dressing. The Lancasters are purposefully an intimidating bunch, high profile and high powered, making it even tougher for Elizabeth to strike out on a new path. Plus, she is stuck romantically at age twenty-three, when she got totally burned, so that’s not helping her forward momentum. The book focuses on Elizabeth, in her mid-thirties, defining who she is and finally making choices as she sees fit, not to please her family.

  And I do feel that finding a professional path is critical for women to establish their adult identities. We have a lot of roles we play in society or in a family—wife, mother, sister, aunt, caretaker—and by definition those roles rely on others in our family. But in our professional lives, we get to create our own persona. Be who we really are when our mother isn’t watching. I think that’s important in a woman’s self-identity.

  Once again, Pasadena serves as a major setting and theme. Has your vision of Pasadena evolved since writing Helen of Pasadena? Can we expect to see you escaping to Ashland any time soon?

  I know so much more now about Pasadena than I did when I wrote Helen of Pasadena. Wow, since that book came out, lifelong Pasadenans have dished the dirt on all kinds of scandals and local lore. I won’t be walking away from Pasadena anytime soon, because there’s too much good stuff to mine and great cultural institutions to explore. But I did like bringing in another locale. It keeps my writing fresh and provides a comparative setting for Pasadena, which is steeped in tradition. The next book will be Pasadena and somewhere in Europe, because I can write the trip off as research, right?

  That being said, Ashland is an amazing town with a wonderful spirit and a creative soul. I’d love to find my own little Sage Cottage there one day.

  Helen Fairchild swoons over the manly forearms on the sexy archaeologist. Elizabeth Lancaster swoons over the manly forearms on the sexy political operative. Is it safe to say you have a thing for masculine forearms?

  Guilty as charged. Forearms are revealing. I think as a gender, women have
focused on men’s backsides and abs for too long. Six-packs don’t tell us anything except that the guy spends a lot of time in the gym and probably doesn’t eat pasta. A man’s forearms say a lot about his life choices. Are they tanned and muscular? Then the guy must get outside and move dirt around, figuratively or literally. Are they pale and slim? Too much time in the office! Could be dull. There’s a story in every forearm, and all you need is for the guy to roll up his sleeve to get a good look.

  Does writing a novel get any easier the second time around?

  Nope.

  BOOK CLUB DISCUSSION TOPICS

  1. When we meet Elizabeth, she seems perfectly contented with her life, although her family of high achievers encourages her to be more ambitious. Do you think she was denying her ambitions out of fear?

  2. Setting plays a large role. Could Ashland and Pasadena be considered characters of their own? Does Elizabeth’s relationship with each of these places change over the course of the book?

  3. The title Elizabeth the First Wife ties our protagonist to Elizabeth the First of England. Which of her aspects draw inspiration from Queen Elizabeth? How is she a modern-day Elizabeth?

  4. Did you think Elizabeth and FX were going to get back together at the end? Were you hoping they would?

  5. What is the significance of an all-consuming “first love”? Compare Elizabeth and FX’s relationship to the one with Rafa. Do you remember your first love as vividly as she does?

  6. Each chapter begins with an excerpt from Elizabeth’s book proposal, All’s Fair. How did these affect your reading of the main storyline?

  7. Elizabeth struggles to create her own identity within her family, and ultimately triumphs. Is that a common issue?